Aging Disgracefully

A colleague and I had to stop off in Bangkok during a business trip for a long layover for a flight to Tokyo. He has small children and wanted to buy them some coloring books to bring home as presents. On an earleir business trip we had learned that one of the best malls for buying kids books happens ironically enough to be in the Patpong district. That is, the sex district. (There is a lot of other stuff there too.)
So, we decide to go through immigration and grab a taxi down to the Patpong to go shopping and get dinner. Well, the cabby was insufferable. We are two white guys going to the Patpong, and he jsut wouldn't stop trying to set us up:
"You want girl? You want boy? I get you anything you want, anyone you want. You can do whatever you want. I get you girl who do anything." etc. etc.

So finally, after we had not responded for a few minutes, he tried to find out what would turn us on by asking "What you into?".

At this point I couldn't resist. Doing my best impression of the hip menace of Hunter Thompson's Doctor Gonzo I said: "Man, we're into coloring books" adding, in the sleaziest voice possible "oh yeah, yeaaaaaah...mmmmmmmm....can you get us some really intense coloring books??"

At that point he looked back at us for a second and was actually trembling.. He was so scared because this was beyond comprehension. I think he thought we were the worst freaks he had ever run across.

The rest of the trip he just had that death stare, straight ahead with white knuckles gripping the steering wheel. And not saying a word.