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March 17, 2008

Advanced Bracketology: Theory and Practice

After an intense few hours of analysis, psychoanalysis, electro-shock therapy and just plain guessing, I am ready to unveil the first draft of my brackets:

(Click on me, Jackass)

A few notable features:

1. Memphis falls hard and fast. I think that their Achilles Heel (terrible free-throw shooting) will catch up with them sooner rather than later.

2. Duke is in the Elite Eight. That may be generous. But then again, maybe it's not generous enough. But that is exactly the kind of sick trip Coach K, that acknowledged grandmaster of edge-work (careful Dean: soon he'll want to spoon with you), had programmed in from the start. This Duke team is better than what has been fielded in the past 2-3 years, but not as good as those fin-de-siecle squads K was fronting, or even those that took the court in the early years of this decade. So, while Duke sucks (that's a given) it is harder to tell just how badly this year.

3. No revenge for the righteous/UNC does not get to kick the Hoyas squah in the nuts-I just don't think they'll get past the Jayhawks.

4. Bruce Pearl gets a reprieve-I think it possible that Louisville will actually beat Tennessee, but the point is that I had to choose one of them to be the next victim.

5. Prepare yourself for LA Riots Part II: when UCLA goes down hard with fleeting glory in sight, those savages on the left coast will not take it well. The Crips, the Bloods and, worst of all, Lindsay "Marilyn for Trailer Trash" Lohan will be out that night trying to vent the most savage kind of vibes.

6. Prepare yourself for Chapel Hill Riots Part II: I have spent thousands on illegal fireworks from the Great State of South Carolina, and will expect to see some payoff from it.

Posted by dag at March 17, 2008 2:04 PM


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